The Story--Part II Face to Face May 2007

For months, Adam and I tried to reconcile our religions. He came to church with me while I went to shul with him on Shabbos. Both of us always managed to feel like an outsider. But most especially me since after shul there would always be a little gathering with some food to eat and I would manage to sit next to someone who would ask me about the Jewish community in Troy… “ummm…I am not Jewish,” I would say awkwardly. While I was impressed with the friendliness of the community, I felt pretty awkward and uncomfortable and almost afraid of being unaccepted. Adam would take me to Conservative and Reform shuls to try and make things easier for me since they had more English included in the services as opposed to Orthodox where the majority of prayers are in Hebrew and where we could sit side by side so he could show me where we were. Even at Shabbos meals, which we would spend with Adam’s friends who were accepting of us, I was insecure, uncomfortable, and quiet. This experience for me was obviously one that affected my relationships with all Jewish people that I met, it was really very sad. One Shabbos, Adam and I were uninvited to a meal by his good friend because of my non-Jewishness. This was very disappointing and upsetting. However, while many people were concerned for Adam's decision to date someone non-Jewish everyone was very cordial and polite to me.

For Purim, a Jewish holiday, we were invited to Adam’s rabbi’s house to celebrate. This was very sweet of them and fun especially because we got to wear costumes!

His rabbi told Adam that he should show me how beautiful Judaism is so that I would consider conversion. I appreciated his understanding of our situation and way of embracing me into their home. However, for his rabbi and for many people closest to Adam, our relationship was unacceptable.